Bulletin Q&A Article; Published 11-24-24:
Should Catholics attend non-Catholic weddings? What about a “Catholic” who is having a wedding in their backyard?
I read in one article that the answer to the general question about the acceptance of attending a wedding is: “Yes, if it is a real marriage.” If the first question is in regard to attending the wedding between two non-Catholics, then this is generally acceptable, assuming that the parties are following all the requirements of their particular religion. The Church presumes those marriages to be valid. If at least one of the spouses is not baptized, then it is considered a natural marriage—it is valid, but not sacramental. If the marriage is between two non-Catholic Christians, it is also considered supernatural, or sacramental. Valid marriages are considered to be indissoluble. This brings up an exception about attending the marriage of two non-Catholics. If one of the parties is divorced from a presumed valid marriage, then you should probably not attend since there is no mechanism for annulment in their Christian denomination. Many divorced Protestants are surprised to find that they are in need of a decree of nullity, an annulment, when they later wish to be married in a Catholic wedding.
With regard to the second question, a Catholic is not generally permitted to be married in their backyard. Canon #1118 states: “A marriage between Catholics or between a Catholic party and a non-Catholic baptized party is to be celebrated in a parish church. It can be celebrated in another church or oratory with the permission of the local ordinary or pastor.” Unless, for some unlikely reason, a dispensation is obtained from the bishop, the marriage of a Catholic in a backyard wedding is considered to be invalid because there exists what is referred to as a “lack of canonical form.” Attending an invalid marriage is of concern—it is not a “real marriage”. Attending an invalid marriage in someone’s backyard is of even greater concern because there is not even a connection to any religious involvement. In an article earlier this year, I answered a question about attending the wedding of a Catholic who is not getting married according to the Church’s requirements—an invalid marriage. That answer applies here and probably bears repeating since it has been asked many times. The following is an excerpt from that article:
If one or both of the parties has been married before and has not had their marriage annulled, then you should not attend the wedding. By attending you would be condoning adultery.
In cases where the parties have not been previously married, Fr. Hurley offers five general options when invited to a wedding of a Catholic outside the Church; the first two are deemed unacceptable:
- Say nothing to the couple, and go,
- Say nothing to the couple, and don’t go,
- Say something to the couple, and don’t go,
- Say something to the couple, and only go to the reception, or
- Say something to the couple, and go to both the wedding and reception.